I slept with men just a few hours after meeting them

Even men I meet online.

I LOVE sex and can't imagine life without it. I lost my virginity at 16 and since then I've had hundreds of sexual partners. I wish I hadn't slept around so much because I don't like men viewing me as a slut, but I just had to. Most guys are more than happy to go along with it, but they do imagine there must be something wrong with a woman who's willing to jump into bed within a couple of hours of first meeting them.

Over the years, however, one-night stands had sometimes been the only way I could get my fix. Quite simply, sex makes me feel incredibly happy, both during intercourse and for a couple of hours afterwards - then I want more. I think it floods my body with happy hormones and it's a great way of releasing tension. While I almost always orgasm, I get enormous pleasure from the experience even without climaxing. If I had to go even a day without sex I feel incredibly frustrated and so uptight that I sat chewing my nails and find it impossible to think about anything else.
I also felt lonely and crave that all-consuming attention you get from a partner during lovemaking.

I think of which of my ex-boyfriends might be willing to be seduced - and think about calling them.It's hard to stop myself, but now I do. I've had three serious relationships and was with my first boyfriend, my daughter's dad, for over three years from the age of 15. Between relationships I slept with a different man - strangers I meet in bars and clubs - almost every night. It's risky, but luckily I experienced no harm. I know women in my group who have been horrible harmed and scarred for a lifetime. But I admit I've carried on seeing boyfriends, who are a safer option, long after relationships should have ended just so they will sleep with me and satisfy my sexual urges.

I invited them round, had my way and make them leave. It's shameful, but once we've had sex I just wanted to be left on my own. When a relationship breaks up what I miss most is having someone to make love to me morning, noon and night. While I've never had bad sex, over the past couple of years I've started to realise that the best sex is with someone I care about. So even when I was sleeping around, I was hoping to meet a man for a committed relationship.

I slept with strangers because I couldn't live without sex. But I can't live with the sex I was experiencing. Sex is not love and I finally understand that. I've changed and it's a constant struggle. Seeking help may have saved my life.

Claire