I am an addict named Ruby...

I will be celebrating 18 months of recovery this saturday! I committed myself into a treatment facility on 12/03/04. For 23 years i have been an alcoholic out of control, cross addicted to meth and was near death!
I wanted to live, but i didn't know how...so my first reaction was to try and get a pill or something that would fix me.

All my life i was on medication for depression and personality disorders and who know whatelse and i never knew how to feel. If i wasn't under the influence of something, i couldn't cope with how i was feeling because i didn't know what it was i was feeling.

After a few weeks in Tx, i decided that i wanted to learn how to live and not just let life pass me by, and be medicated. i declined on the offer to try anti-depressants again and guess what...i learned how to live.
I have seen that chart with all the little faces on it but never really knew what it was for so i asked. I had gone through some cognitive re-structuring and learned some problem solving and i did everything that was required of me.

The 90 meetings in 90 days was hard but i did it and i learned the core of the 12 step program of Narcotics Anonymous, 13 weeks, a step a week in the basic text, graduated Tx, completed 21 weeks of aftercare, and today i still go to group anytime i want, i make 3 meetings a week and i try to carry this message to other addicts who are still suffering today.

The newcomer is the most *important* person that walks into the rooms, because that tells me that it ain't working out there. Most of my friends are in the fellowship, i simply refuse to hang around with my old playmates...cause you know if ya hang around the babrber shop, your going to get a haircut!

It does work, if ya work it! Doing drugs and drinking was just a symptom of my disease...i was addicted to myself and old behavior patterns...old tapes, playing over and over. Well, i play a new tune today and as long as i continue to listen to that tune and make the right choices and live my life according to my purpose!

I love you all....
a grateful addict in recovery,
Ruby